Or, to put it another way, ‘Why A Duck ?’, or ‘When Do I Get Paid ?’ If you’re reading this rag, you’re probably a musician, and you’re thinking : ‘Of course I know what I am; a sensitive artist; a seasoned professional; a happening dude...” But let’s briefly look at WHY to find the WHAT.

Like artists, writers, sculptors, actors and dancers, musicians get hooked at an early age. For me, it was the seductive sound which made any other less spiritual element of my consciousness disappear. Humans experience everything by the ability of our senses to recognise vibration. Colour and sound, your heartbeat, blood pressure and breathing can be described by physics in terms of vibrations per second. It could be said that we are entranced by the massage of music. And we all like a nice massage, don’t we ? Another early influence is the desire to belong to a group of people we think we are like. To wannabe a musician is a desire to enter an elite sophisticated cognoscenti. Their music speaks to us, we want to speak back. The desire to play music is to want to say “I understand”. Next, a musician is a person who has put in an incredible amount of time practising to refine their craft. Contrary to the jazz-degenerate-rock-and-roll image, they understand the value of discipline. A musician is nothing if not a Communicator. Sax icon Charlie Parker said, “Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom.” The purist might think it’s fine for a genius to play in his bedroom for his own pleasure. I can’t help feeling that it’s missing the point. We are on this planet with others, we group ourselves into marriages, families, cities and countries. Humans are social (and sometimes anti-social !) animals. We love to communicate, and we love the communicators. In fact, a musician is sometimes paid an inordinately large sum precisely because of his talent for communication. When he deals with subjects too difficult or sensitive for the average person to discuss, we pay him ‘danger money’. A musician’s life is a constant battle between Art and Commerce. Mozart lost and Oasis won. I hope that says something to you sad idealists. Music is more a business today than ever. ‘30’s newspaper magnate William Randolph Hurst said “If you want to live in the Classes, write for the Masses. If you want to live in the Masses, write for the Classes.” It’s still true. Clothes, haircuts, Double D cups and other non-musical elements make far more money for musicians than music itself. Saxist Branford Marsalis feels that money has become too important to young bands : When Led Zepplin started out, they had no idea how much money they were going to make. They wanted to play, and maybe they could get chicks. But kids today know about the money, the fame and the limos... the music is actually secondary from the get-go. A musician must be someone who loves the music first, and the money is great if it comes. Look at all the starving musicians and the unmitigated bullshit even a successful musician goes through. They still won’t give up the mystic lure of music for the security (and emotional Valium) of a job at the bank. A true musician, like the Buddhist, has to be above the commercial world, while wallowing in it. Be as the lotus, surrounded by water but never getting wet. The trick is to make good music that actually communicates something deep in a way the public can understand. Jazz pianist Bill Evans put it far more elegantly : My creed for art in general is that it should enrich the soul; it should teach spirituality by showing a person a portion of himself that he would not discover otherwise. It’s easy to rediscover a part of yourself, but through art you can be shown a part of yourself you never knew existed. That’s the real mission of art. The artist has to find something within himself that’s universal and which he can put into terms that are communicable to other people. The magic of it is that art can communicate this to a person without his realising it. Enrichment, that’s the function of music. A musician is also a person who spends much of their life having their innermost feelings ignored. You know the feeling : the sound of people laughing and glasses clinking at the bar during your solo ? Oscar Wilde must have played some disheartening gigs to have said, “If one plays good music, people don’t listen, and if one plays bad music, people don’t talk.” We are a class of people with great respect, not only for our teachers and heroes, but for music itself. Ray Charles said, “I do believe that instruments - and naturally I’m including the human voice - are there to be mastered, not to be toyed with.” And yes, a musician is an egomaniac. They spend so much time concentrating on themselves, performing for appreciative audiences and receiving VIP treatment it is quite natural for them to develop egos the size of Jupiter. So be warned about having relationships with one. Music will always come first. Duke Ellington spoke for all of us when he said : Lovers have come and gone, but only my mistress stays. She is beautiful and gentle. She waits on me hand and foot. She is a swinger. She has grace. To hear her speak, you can’t believe your ears. She is ten thousand years old. She is as modern as tomorrow, a brand-new woman every day, and as endless as time mathematics. Living with her is a labyrinth of ramifications. I look forward to her every gesture. Music is my mistress, and she plays second fiddle to no one.