Contrary to popular opinion, getting laid with some degree of regularity should not be your prime motive for becoming a Producer (although it should certainly be somewhere on the list). Regardless of your reasons, the question vexing many people is : What exactly does a Producer do, and how ?

A Producers' job is to artistically, technically and financially direct a recording from its inception to the Final Mix ( if there is such a thing as a Final Mix in todays' industry). How do you learn to do this stuff ? Well, most Producers have had the experience of working in studios as professional musicians, songwriters, singers, or engineers, for these are indeed the very people you'll be directing, and they won't appreciate being told what to do by someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, will they ? Still, its a large jump from being a team player to a Captain, so how do you learn your craft ? When you've worked in studios long enough in any capacity, your egocentric brain will eventually start thinking: "I know how to do this better than that posturing idiot sitting in the Producers' chair !" or "He should never have let her get away with that flat note before the chorus" or "Why is he asking me to play rock when this song needs an acoustic feel" or simply "I could be making a lot more money if I was producing this turkey". (That's the most valid of the 4 thoughts!) Usually your first chances to Produce will be demos. If you're lucky, experienced Producers will have taken the trouble to explain what they're doing. You'll eventually form your own composite of your favourite ideas. You'll be influenced by records and try to emulate their sounds. Or follow the prevailing fashion and just sample a couple of bars from your favourite record, and loop it to create 'your own' rhythm track. This saves a lot of work and energy you would have had to expend by using your brain. (Oooh, did someone feel a slight CHILL ?) Unless you're an Engineer, you'd better find a good one because you'll be relying on him to get that brilliant sound you'll be taking all the credit for in a few weeks. He is your right-hand man. Without him you're in big trouble, so treat him with respect. These guys are unsung heroes and get paid peanuts and work contemptibly long hours. In the U.S.A. They are given Grammy Awards, but in Britain they are treated like that brown stuff that comes out of dogs. (See my other brilliant piece of invective, "The D.I.Y. Guide To Becoming An Engineer".) Try to be specific with your requests. These guys are technical, so they don't react well when you ask for "the sound of daffodils floating across the Serengetti." Unless you're an Arranger, it will help you to enter into a relationship with one. There are at least 10 commercially viable ways to do a song and even if you know what style you want, you'll need someone to translate your concept into musical language. If you're lucky, the Arranger will come up with catchy riffs and a unique sound which you will once again be able to take all the credit for later on. Of course, this paragraph only applies if you want to use musicians instead of computers. You can do quite well commercially in the pop world without ever having to meet one. Whether you're working with a self-contained Band, Programmers or Studio Musicians, your job is to get the best out of them, not just use them to fuel your ego. These people are dedicated artists and you've got to evaluate what they do best, how that relates to your record, and let them get on with it. Don't hire a dog and ask him to quack. Let him bark his head off. Certain truths are constant in all your dealings with these people, and if you want to be different from most Producers, (i.e. not a complete asshole), you would do well to remember the following : Authority does not come from shouting at people, or having the right hairstyle, or taking everybody to dinner. It comes from the confidence you instil in your colleagues by your words and actions. You don't have to be a genius musician, or engineer or keyboard techno-whiz to be a good Producer, although knowing the basics of music, engineering, programming and sampling are fairly essential. But making records is really about Teamwork. Anyone who tries to say otherwise is lying and ego-tripping. Like the Director of a film who is nothing without his actors, lighting cameramen and technicians, you have the choice of either bringing out the talent of your workmates or killing it deader than a depressed doornail. Many Producers often make it difficult or impossible for people to give their best because they insist on making it obvious to everyone that they are enjoying the Power more than the Music. Avoid this type of behaviour. Make everyone feel important, that they each have something special to contribute, that their ideas are interesting, pertinent and unique. And, guess what ? This is not oleagenous bullshit, it's true ! The Artiste, Musicians, Engineer, and yes, even the lowly Assistant (without whom you'd have to stop the session to make your own coffee) are ALL making this record, and helping you to earn a living . Make them walk out of the studio feeling 2 inches taller, not pissed off! Thus endeth Niles' Creative Manifesto, but unfortunately we now have to consider the second word of the term 'Music Business', the 'nuts and bolts' of being a Producer.

>>>